Seating Plan How-To
Designing a fun seating arrangement is one of the hardest parts of any event. Here are my best tips for making the process feel less like 4D chess and more like the exclamation point on your party planning. The #1 takeaway? There are probably multiple seating plans that work well for your gathering, so when you find one you like, stick to it. You’ve done your best, and it’s up to your guests to be engaging tablemates!
Begin by writing each guest’s name on a small piece of paper to test out different seating plans. Seating is so visual, and this method is perfect for trial-and-error.
Start with a boy-girl-boy-girl scheme; this basic arrangement gives you a jumping-off point and you can tweak things from there. The boy-girl pattern isn’t sacrosanct (numbers aren’t always even, etc.), but you don’t want it to feel like a middle school dance with men and women separate.
Always divide couples – that’s an old-school rule that still applies. It makes it more interesting for everyone.
Ina Garten’s seating tips are genius: put the most talkative people in the middle of the table (for a round table, place them directly across from each other). This draws the conversation inward, which includes everyone, versus having competing conversations on either end of the table. A low centerpiece further ensures that everyone can chat together and see each other.
Place either yourself or a co-host closest to the kitchen – this way, you’re not taking the long way around the table to manage refills or check the buffet.
Only hosts go at the head of the table – most guests feel awkward taking that spot in someone else’s home. That said, it’s sometimes unavoidable, so pick someone laidback who won’t be uncomfortable in the head seat.
Be mindful of physical constraints. For example, it’s generous to seat lefties in the far-left chairs. Does someone have a stiff hip? Don’t put him in a middle seat.
Consider the personalities involved. Separate the BFFs who babble in inside jokes or the people who get lost in boring work talk. If one of your guests doesn’t know everyone well, seat him/her next to you. I love connecting friends who have things in common. Basically, you want everyone to feel like they have a buddy at the table, but not to the extent that they ignore everyone else.
Holidays and big family dinners can be stressful. Seat difficult relatives (or friends!) at opposite ends and deputize allies to help entertain/distract them throughout the night. A good seating plan can do wonders to diffuse tensions.
Place cards are essential for gatherings of 5+ people. It eliminates “where to sit” awkwardness and ensures that problematic guests aren’t side-by-side. Plus, if you’re concerned about keeping the conversation going, I love including a prompt on each place card (or at each place setting). Examples include:
What would you serve at your Masters Champion’s Dinner?
Favorite memories of holiday dinners growing up?
Must-have product you discovered in the last year?
What is a word you used this week in an email or text that probably none of us also used?
The classic Proust Questionnaire is a great source of inspiration.
Snag the “Superlative Place Cards” from Houses & Parties and have everyone share their “Most Likely To’s.” I also love their Table Talk Place Cards.
Table Topics come in a ton of different themes and do all the work for you. Put one card at each person’s place and let the conversation roll.
Check out my full post on place card tips and resources (LINK TO PLACE CARD POST).
